A new year, New possibilities

For once, I feel like I am where I belong. Like I have a small spot in society, whether I know what that exactly means or not, I have no idea.

The hole that's been digging deeper within me has been filled with something I lost for too long: Art. It may sound kind of stupid, but I did not realize how much it really meant to me until now. Self-expression, emotion, feeling. I feel this way about a few things, also, such as music, lyrics, dance, and poetry. I never noticed how much self-expression really meant to me until now. Turning 18 is a step stone in one's life & marks the beginning of adulthood, whether the person embraces it or not is up to them, but it's different for me. Sure, I can go purchase ciggarettes, porn, & I can legally vote, but just because I'm 18 does not mean that I can do whatever I feel like, whenever I feel like it(respect). There are things that I would like to change about myself, of course, but not just because I'm 18 & want to rebel. I have that shell & I like to embrace that, but for different reasons.

Self-expression. The ability to express yourself in a unique way. Too many people are too caught up in what the latest trend is & that's when they lose themselves. That's what happened to me recently & I am not going to let it happen again. What's the point of one claiming that they are expressing their individuality when they just go and purchase three more Ed Hardy tees & go tanning 7 days a week, all while saying "don't judge me, I'm me & THAT'S all I'll ever be! Lyke, git ovr ittt! GAWD!!"? It doesn't seem like it. Although some people do such things & still have a uniqueness to them (like all individuals), it's mainly a sterotype expressed in our society (unfortunately). Now, I'm not bashing those people, I am just proclaiming my individuality from them. Proudly. Let me wear clothes that don't match. Let me wear something crazy because that's how I feel on the inside. Tell me I look like an idiot & I'll hold it close to me because I will still know who I am and where I come from. In all honesty, I am still a lost individual who doesn't know what to do in life & I don't even have myself completely figured out yet, but at least I am comfortable knowing so.

Self-expression. A word that crosses my mind constantly. Asking myself how I embrace it. How I can prove my unique individuality using my body & the clothing I wear in order to do so. Expressing myself through pencil marks on a piece of paper or by singing a song that expresses how I truly feel at that moment.


- Sometimes I go on tangents, & I believe this is one of them. -